[For Baze] Dated to the wee hours of 27 April

For the entire walk home, Lux keeps it together. It had been easier to do in the clinic, feeling like she needed to be strong for Jason. It wasn't as if she'd been the one buried alive, and it didn't seem fair to cry all over him or make a scene. James had been there, so eventually she'd left, and let the numb feeling carry her down the winding paths in the rain.

Telling Baze what's happened is the right thing to do, but beyond that, she just needs to lay eyes on him, to affirm something steady in her life. She keeps it together all the way to the front door of his hut, keeps it together even after she knocks, but the moment the door begins to swing open, everything hits her in a rush.

Standing there, she paints an alarming sight, soaking wet, clothes dirty, and fingertips taped up with bandages. Her face crumples, and before she can stop it, a loud sob pushes it's way free of her throat.

[For Jason] Post-Tea Party

Lux won't admit it, even to her own self, but she's waiting. After wandering around awhile and stopping to talk to Tim, she'd headed home, pulled off the fancy dress she'd apparently put on for no reason, and waited.

There's a cold and knotted up place in the pit of her stomach telling her that he won't come. That he won't have even noticed.

Sitting cross-legged atop her bed, staring at the yellow dress tossed across a nearby chair, she can see how it might seem like she skipped the party to try and get a reaction. It goes so much deeper than that, and Lux hopes that Jason knows by now that she's not that sort of girl. It looks really bad, though, and there's a knot of guilt down there right next to the cold place that keeps trying to remind her that she's not good enough.

Sometimes, she just wishes that she could be normal. That she could smile and wear pretty dresses and throw parties.

But she can't forget, and she wishes she were naive enough to talk herself into thinking it was better without her there. She would have just brought it down, right?

Absently, she lifts a hand to wipe at the tear that's slipped down her cheek, then pulls her pillow in against her chest.